Elizabeth Barrett Browning
By Debra Pestrak
How do you respond and react to change? Do you resist or resent it? Does it scare you? Or do you embrace change? Embrace it because things will change whether we like it or not. Isn't it better to like it then stepping into pain every time something changes? We either control our lives or our lives control us.
I don’t know many people who like change. Yet it is something that is constantly happening either to us or around us. Does that mean that those people are miserable most of the time, since life changes every day?
Change is like risk — you have to do it. If we don’t move
forward with the change, or take risks, then we will not get to where
we want to go in our lives. It’s like riding a wave. You ride with
it, or you can drown.
What changes —
- We get older and there's no stopping the aging process
- If we have kids, they grow up — they will move out
- We change jobs
- We get new friends and lose old ones
- We will fail and have to take a different direction
- We will get a new car and house
- We gain and lose weight
- We get different clothes — our styles change
- We spend money on new things
- The amount of taxes we pay
- The direction of our lives
In actuality, we are in constant change. How can we accept and embrace change more?
The key is staying in the moment and not projecting ourselves into our past or into our future.
When we feel guilty, sad, or remorseful we're looking in the past. When we worry, we’re projecting ourselves into the future. The only way we have any control over our future, or feel joy in our lives is when we are in the present moment, the now, living it, enjoying it, and taking action towards our vision and goals.
The past either needs to be accepted, or if there is restitution to be made, take care of it. We sure can’t change it. We should always learn from our past and then leave it there until there’s something we need from it to help us today. Whatever has happened to us in the past, whatever pain we’ve had, does not serve us by bringing it to today. The lessons we learned are valuable and help us from making the same mistake, and make us great mentors for others. I love not having to learn things the hard way. Watching others’ mistakes, failures, and successes, gives us instruction on what to do and not to do.
There are no "crystal balls" to tell us what the results of our actions will be. We take our best guess and use our intuition. Worry is the result of projecting ourselves into the future. As if worrying about something does us any good. Enough of it will make you sick, and it definitely doesn't make you happy.
My mother told me, "I'm your mother, it's my job to worry about you." Does that mean that every time my mother thinks about something that concerns her about my life, she’ll worry, which means she won’t be happy? That is not how I want my mother to live her life. And I sure don’t want to be a source of her unhappiness. We have to honor others choices even if we don't agree. We definitely don't have any control over it.
The present moment is all that we have. The decisions we make at this moment decide our path, our future. Change will occur in our lives - and we’re the ones in the driver's seat, making the decision at each moment to stay present, and be happy, or move our thoughts into the past or future. We make the decision to be happy or unhappy.
If we have a goal, a vision, know what we want in life, and are taking steps towards it every day, how can we not help but achieve it? It's only a matter of time. If in each moment we were on purpose, where would our lives be? What could our lives be like? It is our choice.
The realty when I got this concept was amazing. The moment I stopped talking to myself about the past, reminding myself of my failures, there was an instant peace, a joy. Stopping the critical voice in my mind, stopping the worrying, resulted in a moment of pure happiness.
Ah, the challenge is to turn off the voice, except when it’s appropriate for planning, analyzing what actions you need to take now to live the lifestyle you want, or honoring the wonderful person you are.
When I use my quote, "The only thing standing between you and what
you want is you." I really didn't get the depth of that statement
until a friend sent me a copy of "The Science of Getting Rich."
It’s 80 pages, but reads like 40 pages in length. The concept is that
we all deserve to be rich. The way to do it is to stay in the moment,
and be grateful for what we have. After reading it, I knew I had to
stay in the moment, starting now.
I know it's going to take concentration and effort on my part to
stay more in the moment. I'm really going to have to pay attention
to what's going on inside of me, so I can know when I've left the
present. You can download a free copy of this book at the bottom of
my home page at www.DebraPestrak.com.
Spenser Johnson of "Who Moved My Cheese" has a new book out. "The
Present: The Secret to Enjoying Your Work & Life, Now!" It's all
about the "stay in the moment" concept. Visit www.amazon.com
to order The Present
We all want peace and happiness, and yet most of us don't allow ourselves to have it. You can have it instantly by staying in the moment.
Have a clear picture of what you want in your life. Then the challenge is to keep that picture in your head, constantly remembering during the day, and then taking purposeful action at this moment.
So, close your eyes, think and dream about what you really want. If you thought you could not fail, what would you have? Make sure the picture is in color, that you’re seeing it through your own eyes, that the picture is close, not a long way away, and in clear focus.
Now, keep that with you every day, reviewing it, cherishing it, being thankful for what you have today, and being in the moment, making the picture come true. Act as if it has already happened, that the picture is real now, and you'll be surprised how much faster you'll get there.
Make the change now! Embrace it.
Yours in success,
P. S. Pray for our troops and be thankful for our freedom.
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About the Author
Debra Pestrak is an expert on top performers, an award-winning speaker, business consultant, coach and author of Playing
with the Big Boys: Success Secrets of the Most Powerful Women in Business
and Playing with the Big Boys & Girls in Real Estate.
Debra's passion is to share her research results in a straightforward manner that shows you what is possible. She inspires you to action! Debra is dedicated to developing powerful programs that impact the way people think, act and work. She was a player in corporate America for 26 years, working her way up the ranks from a telephone operator to managing a $20 million budget. She has also instituted and led sales organizations, and is a past president of the National Speakers Association-San Diego.
To discover additional performance advice, contact Debra at 888 SUN-3777.
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